A Foreward to my so-called Novel-in-progress

I got off of the bus yesterday evening and began the short walk through the rain to get to my apartment building. While en route, the idea just popped into my head. I'd be damned if I didn't and damned if I did, but I decided to write the Great American Novel - after all, the Great God of Literacy had thrown that absurd epiphany into my skull. How dare I be so bold as to defy His will!

Now that I had reached the conclusion that writing this epic, prolific, life-altering story was not only my goal, but my prerogative in life, I began wondering what the topic could possibly entail. A passionate, gruesome battle? A love story to put even Romeo and Juliet to shame? A fantastic journey to far away lands?

Just as I slid my key into the door lock, it hit me; two schmucks sitting in a diner at 3am, smoking, sipping coffee, shooting the shit. As I walked into the foyer and called the elevator, I wondered how in the hell I'd come up with something so horrifically mundane as the subject of my epic, prolific, life-altering, Great American Novel. The elevator door opened and I looked up to the Heavens, or rather, the asbestos ceilings that blocked my view of them, and questioned my choice to the Great God of Literacy.

The elevator door slammed as I debated this decision, and no matter how much I called for one, another did not arrive. I walked toward the staircase and opened the door to begin my journey upward. Apparently, offending the Great God of Literacy is a terrible atrocity. I placed my foot uopn the first stair to begin my climb, now starting to reconsider my change of heart regarding the story's topic. The moment I geared my mind back toward that silly, mundane idea of the two schmucks in the diner, the elevator door flew open with a loud crash and DING! I turned, signed, and said to the God,

"Well, if that's what You want, so be it. I'll write that novel."

The elevator dinged three times, as if to bid me to make haste, but to what? I walked over to it and entered, carefully pressing the button to my floor as the door closed. I may have only been three floors up, but I was in for a very, very long ride.