Bliss for the broken

Currently, my mind is swimming. I've been sitting here just trying to think of how I want to word everything I'm feeling. It's a bit funny. I sit here with so much emotion and so much passion inside of me, and yet, when it comes to writing it down, I just don't find words suited to describe it. Kind of ethereal in a way. Anyone else get like that?

I just feel this wave over me. Constantly coming and knocking into me, forcing me to sink to my knees. I'd like to attribute it to the music I'm listening to, but I think that can only be just an attribute to how I got the way I'm feeling.

It's as though I'm in limbo, I suppose. I can't quite tell what I feel, but I'm in between two feelings that are separated by entirely different plains promising entirely different things. Maybe there is no promise at all, just the thought of it.

I woke up this morning, warm and tingling. It was as though a spirit had filled me with strange euphoria - strange, but pleasant, and horribly intoxicating. I still feel it, this kind of warm, supernatural complacency. I can't quite explain it, but I want more. I want to feel it and know it is real. I want validation in it.

It's a bit of a curse being a hopeless romantic, because, in all fairness, finding someone who truly exists and functions in a manner that so many famous pairs of lovers do is a bit of an anomaly. Even so, I can't help but crave it. I keep thinking I'm getting closer to finding my match, but every time I do, something comes and destroys it, or it was never real to begin with. It's so disheartening when you would throw down everything you have for love and for that opportunity to love someone so fully, and no one is there to do the same for you.

That sometimes makes me want to give up. And often, I deny the fact that I desire to have something as thus. In truth, however, I would give everything I had for the sake of obtaining it. You may think that that's a little sad and pathetic, but what should I care of how you feel? You have never been me and never will be, so who are you to judge the thoughts and feelings of another?

Sometimes, I yearn to be practical. I wish I didn't have such a ridiculous obsession with love. But it would be nice, every now and again, to know that someone out there thinks of me and feels for me just as I do for him. To share something like that is miraculous and beautiful. I'll keep waiting. I'll keep faith. One day, if I'm lucky, it will come to me and it won't leave.